This week I was invited to hold a class on “Beginning Prepping” for some of the most beautiful and genuine women I’ve met! Seriously, I would can their chicken if they wanted me too :) Hopefully their husbands know how lucky they are, because not only are they beautiful, but they have their priorities straight! They definitely set me straight and sent me home with a to-do-list that I can’t wait to get started on! It got me thinking though, “How did they become this way?,” and more importantly “How can I hook my single brother up with someone like that?”.
It reminded me of while the doctor was performing a circumcision on my son, he informed me that not only was he making sure my son would be proud of his package for years to come, but he was actually performing brain surgery too. Maybe men don’t use it for their brain all the time, but it surprises me how often it’s the sole decision maker, especially in something as important as finding a wife! You hear men all the time say that they married their super-model non-domestic wife because “she is sooo smart…” Sure You Did ;) Don’t get me wrong, nothing is wrong with marrying a hot girl, as long as your realize that often times that’s about all you’re getting out of the deal. I joke with my husband all the time when he complains the house is a wreck or the kids are still in their pj’s that he married me because of my looks, not my dishwashing skills! It’s like I try to explain to my single brother, you can marry the first hot girl who says “YES,” but just realize these are some of the things you might expect:
HOT GIRLS Top 10:
- Emergencies are when a Nail Breaks!
- Spends more money coloring her hair than on food.
- Goes to the gym 2+ hours a day (1 hour doing soul grooves & 1 hour prancing around getting noticed by other boys)
- Challenges herself to see how many malls she can hit while the kids are in school.
- Knows every plastic surgeon in the area by name.
- Can give you the breakdown of the brands and costs of people’s outfits.
- Constantly needs therapy, because she just can’t seem to be PERFECT (whatever that is).
- Knows how to throw a $5000 party for her 1-year-old Princess!
- Her mission in life is to have a custom-made closet to fit all her shoes and handbags.
- Ridicules girls that aren’t as hip and cool as she is.
Eventually, there will come a time when even Botox can’t stop the wrinkles & the doctors start refusing to cut anymore. What then? Don’t worry, you don’t have to spend your entire life being a self-centered & desperate housewife. There is hope; you can still be hot and make a difference to your family and in this world.
HOT HOUSEWIVES Top 10:
- Relies on God!
- Genuinely cares about others and finds opportunities to serve.
- Knows how to turn her oven and stove on.
- Can throw a party by finding freebies off Pinterest.
- Realizes food storage costs money and saves for it.
- Knows how to protect her kids (even if it means toting a gun).
- Can Gut, Clean, Process, Cook, & Eat an animal.
- Teaches her kids how to clean bathrooms and gives them responsibilities.
- Prepares for the Worst, but Lives for the Best!
- Willing to LEARN things she doesn’t know!
Really, this blog is about turning Hot Girls into Hot Housewives. Maybe it’s a little selfish of me, but I need someone for my brother to marry :) These past few months I’ve really enjoyed traveling around when time allows helping women and holding classes. Here are some of the classes I’ve done, but really anything on this blog is fair game!
- Simplifying Food Storage
- 5 Steps to Becoming Prepared for Basic Emergencies
- Canning You’re Favorite Foods
- Alternative Cooking Methods: The Pros & Cons of Each
- Skills Everyone Should Know: Prepper or Not!
I’ve been asked multiple times about doing classes, so if you’re interested in having a class in the Houston area (or want to pay for a flight :), feel free to contact me. Just remember I do have limited availability; I have to practice washing dishes sometimes :)