I know… getting prepared is about food, water and guns. But if you stop and think about it, is it worth prepping if when you’re all done you’ve distanced yourself from society, and even worse, your spouse? I had a patient come in this week that barely leaves his home because prepping has consumed him. His wife is totally miserable and they no longer do anything fun together.
I hate to break it to some of you, but we’re all going to die someday no matter how prepared you are. So take a break from your regular preps for a minute, and focus instead on prepping your marriage. Besides, who really wants to be left all alone in an underground bunker with enough preps to last you a lifetime? Boring!
DIAMONDS AREN’T FOREVER, BUT YOUR MARRIAGE CAN BE
My husband apparently purchased the 10 year warranty on my ring, because 1 day after our 10 year anniversary I looked down and noticed something was missing. Yes, the rock that goes in the middle was GONE! I think it’s time for an upgrade :) Maybe if it was bigger I would have felt it when it fell out (Hint, Hint)!
I realized this week – diamonds don’t last forever (sales-reps are liars :), but your marriage can. So put your energy, time, and money where it matters most!
“Marriage: If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. You shield it and protect it. You never abuse it. You don’t expose it to the elements. You don’t make it common or ordinary. If it ever becomes tarnished, you lovingly polish it until it gleams like new. It becomes special because you have made it so,and it grows more beautiful and precious as time goes by.” -F. Burton Howard
Top 10 Marriage PREPS:
I don’t have all the answers for a perfect marriage, but to celebrate our 10 year anniversary I compiled 10 things I’ve learned I’m working on to help our marriage last…
1- COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVELY
“Once we figured out that we could not change each other, we became free to celebrate ourselves as we are.” -H. Dean Rutherford
There needs to be open & honest communication in every relationship.
For instance, have you talked to your spouse lately about what you will do to him if he ever decides to lie, abuse, or cheat on you? Be as detailed as you want! For one, please make it clear that you do NOT plan on sticking around for a press conference while he apologizes once again for sexting pictures of his Weiner! Then… maybe one day, men (and women) will realize there are actually consequences for their behavior!
Anyways, you can discuss other things too (like hopes, dreams, fears, etc.), just hit on the important things first ;)
Remember, sometimes men can only handle so much talking/listening, so allow him to escape to his Nothing Box if he needs to!
2- GO ON DATES
I’ve often heard the advice that going on dates is cheaper than getting a divorce, and sometimes I feel like we are trying to prove that theory wrong. We love going out, and probably spend more than we should, but it’s one investment I don’t plan on getting rid of!
You don’t have to spend a fortune for awesome dates though. Take if from the pros – The Dating Divas can spice up any marriage with ideas from dates at home, to out on the town, and yes, even tips for the bedroom!
3- COMPLIMENT OFTEN
“A happy marriage doesn’t mean you have a perfect spouse or a perfect marriage. It simply means you’ve chosen to look beyond the imperfections in both.” -Fawn Weaver
Girls really aren’t that complicated, they just want to feel beautiful & loved (and if you can read their minds that helps too)! You can never give too many compliments, so go ahead, tell her how sexy she is when you find her in her pj’s pinning things on pinterest!
Same with the boys. Does your man know what a stud he is? Does he know how much you love his ideas (even if they seem a little crazy), or that he’s still the man of your dreams? They may not care about feeling beautiful, but they do care about being macho, especially to you.
4- REMEMBER TO LAUGH
“The more things we can laugh about, the more alive we become: The more things we can laugh about together, the more connected we become.” -Frank Pittman
Life isn’t supposed to be miserable! Enjoy each other and remember to laugh, ESPECIALLY when you don’t want to!
“It’s always nice to have someone in your life who can make you smile even when they’re not around.” -Unknown
5- MAKE-OUT DAILY
“Kissing is a means of getting two people so close together that they can’t see anything wrong with each other.” -Rene Yasenek
6- DISAGREE SOMETIMES
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. -Rita Rudner
Nothing is wrong with disagreeing with each other, as long as you have awesome make-up sex afterwards!
If you do get upset, suck up your pride and be the first to apologize, even if it’s not your fault (I have no experience in this, but my husband is amazing at it ;)
“The first to apologize is the bravest. The first to forgive is the strongest. The first to forget is the happiest.” -Unknown
7- FALL IN LOVE OVER & OVER & OVER AGAIN
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.- Mignon McLaughlin
Marriage is like a roller-coaster; it’s one crazy ride with ups and downs. We would all love to stay in fairy-tale land, but life has a way of setting in. It doesn’t mean it’s a reason to fall out of love. It’s wonderful, because it gives you a chance to fall in love all over again, and again, and again. And each time you fall in love, your love grows deeper.
“Happy marriages begin when we marry the ones we love, and they blossom when we love the ones we marry.” -Tom Mullen
9 – IMPROVE EACH DAY
Making marriage work is like running a farm. You have to start all over again each morning. - Author Unknown
Everyday is a fresh start and another chance to be better! If you need some ideas on how to improve, try doing The Love Dare to help Fireproof your marriage.
“Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, it’s what you are expected to give — which is everything.” -Anonymous
9- DON’T DO IT ALONE
Marriage is not merely between husband and wife; it embraces a partnership with God.” -Russell M. Nelson
I truly believe with God all things are possible. Marriages that haven’t allowed God to be apart of the equation are truly missing out. He’s your biggest fan, and if anyone wants you to succeed and be happy, it is God! So don’t make your life even harder, allow Him to help!
10- HOLD ON TIGHT
“More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.” -Doug Larson
Hold on tight, and don’t let go. When you got married, you committed to stick it out through thick and thin, through sickness and in health, through annoying snoring, through kids getting up all night, through not putting the toilet seat down, through forgetting your anniversary, etc… Times may get tough, but stay on that roller-coaster, it will eventually go back up, and the ride will be one you don’t want to de-rail!
“Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.” -Unknown
NOTE: Don’t confuse getting through the hard times, with holding onto someone that is sucking the life out of you. If you’re married to a lying, cheating, abusive, no-good scum bag, by all means, put him (or her) out with the trash. God intended for us to be happy and try our best, but He never expected us to stay married to the Devil.
“Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years.” -Simone Signoret
“Happily ever after is not a fairy tale. It’s a choice.” -Fawn Weaver
*Pictures by Kelsey Call Photography*
Thanks for letting me share my thoughts, but I want to hear from you! Some of you have amazing marriages and much more experience than I do. So go ahead, share your secrets…
P.S. We did find the diamond later! I dug through the most disgusting trash EVER!
[signoff]
#5. This had to be written by a youngster. You will get old.
#7. Keep falling in love, but don’t get caught.
You mean you don’t want to make-out all the time when you get older?
Good article! The reason most of us prep is to care for our families and there are many events other than the end of society as we know it for which this is a practical matter. However, if we neglect our family relationships, what’s the point?
Great point you brought up. Prepping is a way you can show love to your family. I know I wouldn’t care as much if it wasn’t for them.
I second the date nights. Although, since we’ve started prepping our idea of a good date night has changed. We used to go out to a fancy restaurant. Now, it’s to the range and Gander Mountain. :) Either way, it’s so important to have alone time together away from the kids.
So true! That’s been ours lately too ;)
We still love to go out and eat, way toooo much!
In parts sounds like a old LDS date suggestion book from the 70’s, LOL go on dates, with just the two people, leave notes where they can find it in unexpected places etc..but still great information, sometimes us guys need the refresher more than the ladies do..
Hi…great article, with the exception of gender specific scumbag comment. I am a decent man who had to divorce a lying, no good, violent wife. And just for the record, I am a victim of domestic violence at her hands…multiple times. I am remarried now (14 yrs) to a wonderful woman…life is much better!
Sorry, I didn’t clarify that part very well, it definitely goes for both – men and women. I went ahead and added that in! Glad to hear you got out of bad relationship and found yourself an amazing woman! Thanks for sharing your experience!
married for 19 years, ten of them happy. just kidding
IMO most important thing to have in common is the same sense of humor. My wife and I laugh together a lot, usually AT each other!
Doug Larson’s quote was correct- sometimes the better does come after the worse. did in our case. the more trouble you face together the more faith and trust is built.
You crack me up! Love it! I feel so bi-polar sometimes, because marriage can be like a coin, sometimes it lands on the happy side, and other times it lands on the – “I feel like strangling you side”! If you’ve been happy 10, then you are beating the odds and doing better than most ;)
Great points you brought out!
OK, so I’m not married, BUT I have some advice for all women. Here are some things you should know about men.
The Man Rules
These are our rules!
Please note… these are all numbered “1 ”
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You’re a big girl If it’s up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports: It’s like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are.
Don’t ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials…
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like nothing’s wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine… Really .
1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1.. I am in shape. Round or Slim IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.
So, do I look fat ;)
Awesome, maybe I’ll do a guy version of this post with your advice!
It’s funny you mention the couch. I don’t mind it either. My husband jokes I spend more time out there then in bed.
Didn’t you read rule #1? 1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are.
Don’t ask us.
I think I need another rule here. Rule #1 Remember you said it, I didn’t.
You also forgot rule #1. 1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
Of course there is always rule #1 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
And never forget rule #1 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
Hope this answered your question. Have a good day.
Evil
P.S. I don’t think your fat, but then I try not to think too much. Makes my head hurt.
So I am fat then ;)
Good to know I can be mad at you for 6 months now!
Rule #1 Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
Key words here “all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.”
Besides that, I never knew there was a time limit on being mad at me. Will have to let my best friends know this. They’ve been mad art me for a long, ah, well, uhmmmm, years. This could be a game changer. Thanks. Evil.
mad art me. Thats sposed to be at, don’t know where the “r” came from. Maybe I will learn how to spell “at” someday. Ya right.
Ok, I’ll be mad 7 days then!
P.S. I don’t know how to spell at either ;)